Who you aren’t: It’s just as important as knowing who you are

I spent the majority of my sophomore year of undergrad with a crush on a boy who didn’t have a crush on me.

I was 19, naïve, and made embarrassing attempts to get his attention.  You know—“accidentally” running into him places, pretending beer pong (or beer, for that matter) was something I enjoyed, and occasionally wearing a slightly midriff-bearing, low-cut and highly flammable polyester number from Rave to compete with the other girls vying for his attention.

The problem with that?  I was pretending to be something I wasn’t for someone who wasn’t interested in the first place.

How much sense does that make?

And even worse—I was missing out on someone who would be interested if I would only be myself.

When you finally stop performing for the wrong people, that someone you’re missing out on–your right people– start to notice.  (My ‘someone’ ended up being my husband.)

I talk about knowing who you are a lot on this blog because people like people, not businesses, and when you know who you are and show that to the world, your right people show up for you.

But knowing who you aren’t is just as important—it stops you from making embarrassing brand/life mistakes you’ll look back on like‘dude, that wasn’t even me.  Why did I do that?’   (Like wearing Rave halter tops and gagging on beer in red plastic cups.  Talk about a hot mess.)

Sometimes it’s easier to identify what isn’t your style than what is.  If you’re struggling with figuring out who you are as a brand, start by making a Who I’m Not list.  What are some things that just don’t fit you and what you want in your business?

And because I heart you so much—I’ve made a free worksheet The Not List to help you out.  Subscribe in the sidebar to gain access to the subscriber exclusive link.